Quite recently, or perhaps sometime soon (I can never recall exactly the correct directional flow of time, in the same way as just telling me to GO EAST leaves me confused as to whether I should turn left or right or some other direction betwext), I was/will be contracted by the government/a private contractor to investigate/instigate an anomaly upon the moon. This album tells/will tell the tale/told of this extraordinary event/apocalyptic horror, both in the dimension of musical sounds and, in an unauthorised account by an understanding bystander, the written word (with 11 original illustrations and a postcard).
Yours in shock,
Toby
PS: The accompanying pamphlet also contains highly accurate lyrical transcriptions; a chronicle of further adventures (never musically acknowledged); extracts from my fortnightly job search diary; 2 recipes; 3 interviews; 4 spelling mistakes; and several mysterious holes.
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lyrics
I knew I had to stop him
I knew I had to act
so, when he reached for the power switch
that's when I attacked
I pushed him down the moon-stairs
I chased him underground
I pushed his head into moon canals
until he was half-drowned
it wasn't an easy battle
he fought back with great skill
his magic made him very strong
and he moved in for the kill
but as he tried to blast me
the water that he took in
made him cough for just long enough
that I regained my footing
wizards may be magical
and possess reserves of power
but this wizard had left his staff
in a distant castle tower
without that ancient artefact
relying on his mind alone
I was finally able to knock him down
and beat his brains out with a stone
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